Monday, August 13

The Hardest Day

I'm grateful that the hardest day only comes once a year. It has been this way for almost a decade. Despite the passage of time, August 13 doesn't get any easier to bear. We try not to dwell on the past, but this day defines everything we have become. We cling to each other, to memories and to the belief that what is physically absent is not missing from our hearts and minds. As we go forward, we have learned not to take life and love for granted. We now know what is here today might not be here tomorrow. 
In some ways this year has been harder, as the California house is gone, and we haven't been out west in almost a year. In some ways it has been easier, because my mom is finally settled in Oxford, and I have my grandma's things in my home. I hope one day I don't pay so much attention to this date. I want to focus on the good and forget this day that has torn my life into two pieces -- the before and the after. 

Still it is important to remember that the after brought the happiest period of my life. Less than a week later, Ole Miss came into my life...and Jonathan.

Here are my tribute posts from 2010 and 2011.

In closing, let me say that I am not an American Idol fan, but as I was leaving Oxford this morning, I was moved by a song sung by one of its winners. I was listening to Q93.7, the station that I listened to every morning during my three years in Oxford, and the DJ came on and said she dedicated this song to the Olympic athletes.

Because I watched three Olympics in California (1996, 2004 and 2008) and was in LA during the 1984 Olympics, I feel a special love for them. These lyrics brought me to tears today for so many reasons.

Hold on to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringin' us along
Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons, they fill you with fear.               
Trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost you can always be found
Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

Just know you're not alone....
Cause I'm gonna make this place your home