Today is my birthday. For me, this particular birthday is one I have been dreading, because it marks a personal goal that I set for myself years and years ago. It sounds silly to write it, but my mother had me when she was 27, and I always thought I would want to be a mother at 27 as well. The truth is, 27 seemed so grown up when I thought that to myself all those years ago. It seemed so far away. Now it's here, and I don't feel like I'm even remotely ready to be a mother. Half of my friends have babies, and the other half are still single, so I shouldn't feel pressured, but for some reason, I do. I feel pressured by so many things in life, actually -- there are so many decisions, and I worry about making the right ones. Should we stay in Memphis? Should we move? Should I go back to school? Are we saving enough money? Some days I really don't want to be an adult at all. But I am, and the days, weeks, months and years are rolling by so quickly. Ugh.
Regardless of what I feel some of the time, I have a really great life, with the best husband, a great family, sweet friends, a good job and a wonderful home and neighborhood. Memphis isn't bad either.
I am so blessed every single day, and I just hope God will guide me down the right path and help me make the right decisions. I know everything will work out. It always does.
To mark this milestone birthday, we are celebrating with Sekisui sushi and Muddy's Bake Shop cupcakes. After dinner, we're going to decorate for Halloween (finally!) and watch some old Halloween movies. You know, the cheesy ones with limited blood and guts and lots of screams. Some wine and candy corn may also be consumed.
Maybe that will get me out of this funk I've been in lately. 27 is just another birthday, right?
Until next year...